Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
