i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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