return my video game
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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