You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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