whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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