i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
