I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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