It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
