Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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