I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They took my balls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize