she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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