hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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