Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
