going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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