I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I smell like Dick and happiness
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
