Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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