I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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