i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
