I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize