If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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