I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
