just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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