I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
