Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
