My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
