if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
