I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
