they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
