WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
