I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
