i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i drank out of a bidet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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