My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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