Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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