4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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