Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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