Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
