naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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