lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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