I love black thongs
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
