I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
