I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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