Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Do vagina's smell?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
