you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
