He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
