just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
