Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think your dad took our porno
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
