They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
