I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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