I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
