You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
