I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
