Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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