I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
