dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
