It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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