I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
