I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
