Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
