I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
